One Life, Two Loves
by Jet Nebula
Summary: She thought that she knew who she loved but, maybe she was wrong. Or maybe, was it possible for her to love two people? Was that really so terrible, to have enough love that it stretches between two instead of just one…? LavixLenaleexAllen. One-shot.


Background :: I wrote most of this story on the backs of break schedules and clothing signs on a day stuck working in the fitting room at the store I serve my indentured servitude at, and there was no heating, so I was forced to work for eight hours wearing gloves…thus, excuse if some of this is REALLY bad or REALLY angsty, because I was angry. The rest of it was finished while I was procrastinating from writing a paper on the European Defence Community – never heard of it? Probably because it NEVER HAPPENED and is thus a ridiculous paper topic Okay, rant over.

Disclaimer :: I do not own -Man or the characters or any of that or there would have been snogging.

* * *

**One Life, Two Loves **_-- A -Man fanfiction_**  
**

"Lenalee? Lenalee?"

Lenalee looked up from where she had been sitting on the very edge of the bed, her eyes cast downwards at the floor beneath her bare feet. Those dark eyes now locked on a pair of violet-grey eyes that had grown so familiar over the years, onto a lanky figure with fair skin and shockingly white hair. "I'm sorry Allen," she then said softly, shifting so that she was sitting instead leaning against the headboard of the bed, her back propped up by a pillow and her legs stretched out before her. They were tingling a bit from all the training she had put them through all day, but she knew she needed to. "I'm just a bit tired, but I'm just…what were we talking about?"

Allen's slightly exasperated sigh reached her ears, but when she looked up at the other exorcist, she saw that he was smiling all the same. Allen always had been so patient with her, always willing to wait for her, or repeat things for her, or whatever she needed – and it seemed that she had needed just that sort of thing more and more lately. "I was just telling you about what Kanda convinced Krory to eat at dinner – nothing really important," he then said with a shrug, crossing over to the other side of the bed to throw himself heavily down onto it, arms folded behind his head and his eyes closed.

"I'm surprised Kanda said enough words to convince anyone of anything," Lenalee then replied softly, moving her eyes from the young man and off towards the wall. It had been so long since these pointless conversations had really brought any emotions to her at all, but she remembered when she used to like to have them. The days when she would have been listening to every one of Allen's words, adding her own parts to the story and giggling and generally just enjoying being in the company of someone she liked spending time with.

But those days had come to such a violent and sudden halt a little more than a year ago, on a day that shouldn't have been any different than any other. And though Allen had been the same as her for a while, he had moved on it seemed, and was back to being himself once again…but why couldn't Lenalee be like that? She had him now, and no one could possibly treat her better than the other exorcist did, but…

…it wasn't what she really wanted.

"You've seemed tired a lot recently."

Lenalee brought herself back to the present as she glanced sideways at Allen's words, and saw that his eyes were open once more and transfixed on her, a worried look obvious in their depths. "It's just been a lot of training lately," she said, trying to sound dismissive as she moved to lay down next to him, lightly laying her head on the pillow. "Don't worry about me Allen…I worry enough for both of us. I'm…I'm fine."

Was she?

* * *

It seemed like the sky had turned completely black.

So many demons…where had they all come from? How was it possible that so many could have accumulated in such a select area? And they had come out of nowhere, seemingly materializing from the nothingness – so many willing to sacrifice themselves for whatever goal it was they were pursuing.

And that was what was even stranger yet – no one knew what this swarm was after. It was supposed to be a simple mission – one that Lavi, Lenalee, and Krory could easily handle. Actually, Lavi was not even supposed to be there, but had come out of boredom or inactivity or something that really didn't matter – the fact remained that he was there. These demons that were now casting a dark shadow on the French countryside had been headed elsewhere and had happened upon the trio of exorcists…for the better or the worse.

One after another they demons were destroyed, but only seemed to be replaced by another shortly after. Progress seemed non-existent, but he members of the Dark Order were not about to give up…

"Wherever you're going, you're not going to get there!" Lavi's voice cried out above the sounds of explosions and the cackling of the demons, the familiar traces of confidence still evident in his voice despite the circumstances. "Or at least not all of you are!"

His resounding words brought a shadow of a smile to Lenalee's face for a moment before her Dark Boots sent another demon to its eternal peace. It didn't matter that this was not their mission, and it didn't matter how outnumbered they were…it was their duty as exorcists to destroy the demons no matter the cost to themselves. With every one she destroyed, she reminded herself of the lives she might be saving – and the soul she was releasing, just as Allen had described to her. Lavi knew what his fate might be, but he knew his duty. So did Krory. And so did Lenalee.

There was no room for regret.

Lenalee had not even seen him take the hit.

The demons were suddenly retreating, and though their numbers had been thinned, the group was still large enough to pose a serious threat. Lenalee's dark eyes followed Krory's figure as she saw him pouncing from one demon to the next, trying to destroy as many as he could before they disappeared into the distance.

What she did notice was the absence of another voice, and of another figure. Lenalee stopped her assault for a moment as her eyes scanned the country meadow-turned-battlefield for that familiar shock of ginger hair and flailing hammer, but could not find either…until she looked down. Dark eyes finally fell on an all-too-familiar figure, sans weapon, laying face down on the ground.

"Lavi!" Lenalee's voice rang out, cutting through the cool night air, for the moment the demons forgotten. She was already running when her feet touched the ground, and within moments she was at her friend's side.

Lenalee's shaking hands fumbled to flip over Lavi's larger form, but after a few tries, he was laying on his back, his heck and head cradled in one of her arms. She called his name a few times, first softly, and then yelling it. At long last his eye flickered open slowly, though the once vibrant green colour was clouded to a dull shade. At first his gaze was unfocused, but it slowly became clearer as he locked onto Lenalee's worried expression.

"You're alive," Lenalee was almost afraid to utter those words, lest they prove suddenly untrue.

"Of course I am," Lavi replied, but this voice lacked its usual sharp edge, and was quieter than Lenalee had ever heard it before. "You shouldn't worry so much," he then added, a faint smile appearing on his tired features.

Lenalee could hear her name being called, but it sounded so different and distant, almost…otherworldly. Krory – that's right, he was still pursuing the demons. The girl opened her mouth to call out a response to her comrade, but nothing came out except a choked sound, and se was soon forced to wipe her eyes to hide the tears.

"You need to go help Crow," Lavi's voice forced the girl's mind back to the present, and she noticed his eye was closed again, but at least she could see his chest rising and falling slowly this time. "Just give me five minutes and I'll join you – I promise."

"You—you're lying," Lenalee managed to squeak, ignoring the persistent calling by Krory from a distance. "Lavi, you're hurt – we have to get you back to the Order…"

She trailed off as she saw the young man's head shake ever so slightly. "I don't think I'm going back to he Order this time," he then said softly, a forced smile returning to his face once more as his eye fluttered open to meet hers. "You need to help Crow—"

"I'm not leaving you like this!" Lenalee surprised even herself with the volume behind her sudden outburst, cutting off the ginger man's words. "We're going back to headquarters…together!" She quieted down once more, attempting to make her tone calm, almost like she was simply telling Lavi what was going on in a normal mission rather than demanding that he stay alive. "You, me, Krory – we're going back with Allen, and Komui, and even Kanda…"

"Make sure you tell everyone hello for me, especially Yuu," Lavi replied, and as a short laugh escaped him it was suddenly cut off by a racking cough that shook his entire body, and once he finally settled again his once firm frame felt extremely fragile in Lenalee's shaking arms.

"You're going to tell them yourself, you idiot," Lenalee replied, no longer trying to hide the tears that poured down her face. "Remember when I was hurt? I wanted to give up, but you never let me!"

"You were always stronger than me, Lenalee," Lavi replied after a long silence, and he slowly raised a shaking hand to softly touch her cheek, running the back of his hand along her soft skin and brushing away a few of the tears on that side. "You were always…always…just my type."

Lenalee's breath caught at those words, and she made a choked sound from that occurrence coupled with her tears. Had he meant…what she thought he had meant by those words? What he had always meant when he said that? A new rush of feelings swooped down upon the female exorcist, feelings that she had been suppressing and hiding for so long, feelings that she had never had the chance to express, and had never thought she would get the chance to, and now…"Lavi, I—"

"You've gotta take care of Allen for me," Lavi continued like Lenalee had said nothing, his hand falling back to his chest once more. "He can't take care of himself, and he…he loves you, Lenalee."

Lenalee did not think it was possible for her to cry harder than she already had been, but somehow she was. Allen _loved_ her? She had always suspected that the white-haired exorcist liked her, yes, but she had never let it go any further than that in her brain. However, she knew that Allen and Lavi were best friends, and she also knew that if Allen had mentioned this to Lavi….well, it wasn't a lie. _Loved _her. Allen. Allen Walker. And what a place to find that out…

The female exorcist became aware that the form in her arms had stopped shaking, and he quickly wiped her eyes with her free hand in an attempt to see clearly as she looked down to Lavi's still body. His eye was closed, his lips parted slightly, and there was no movement of his chest any longer. Lenalee gasped a few times, the tears suddenly stopping out of complete shock – it was just too much, all too much, and all happening at once.

And then it escaped – one long, terrible wail that rose up from within Lenalee's very being, echoing throughout the countryside as she pulled the dead exorcist close to her chest, rocking his head back and forth as the tears poured forth once more.

"But Lavi, I loved _you._"

* * *

As Lenalee's mind came back to the present she slowly became aware of her surroundings once again. Laying against a bare chest, in someone's comforting arms that were holding her tightly under the blankets, listening to the sound of heavy breathing that was slowly returning to normal, her own body feeling more tired than ever…her eyes fluttered open to fall onto Allen's face. His eyes were closed, and she could see that he was falling asleep, though a slight smile still pulled at the corners of his lips.

A cold feeling swept through Lenalee's entire body as she realized what had happened – she had relived that night again, and now could barely even remember these past several minutes with Allen. She had been thinking about Lavi again, about her feelings that night, and the feelings that still persisted to this day, when she had been…

She could barely even look at Allen's face again, feeling ashamed. She knew that he loved her now – he had told her himself on several occasions, even though she usually responded simply with a forced giggle that seemed to satisfy him. But…this wasn't how it was supposed to be. She thought that she knew who she loved but…maybe she was wrong. Or maybe…was it possible for her to love two people? Was that really so terrible, to have enough love that it stretches between two instead of just one…?

Of course it was. But this wasn't what Lavi had wanted, either – she had gone to Allen, just as he had said, but the way she acted now, the way she felt now…that wasn't right. What would Lavi think of her now, to see her using his best friend? No, she couldn't bear the thought of using anyone, lest of all someone as good natured as Allen. And thus, she knew this couldn't go on.

She had to make things right – for Lavi. For Allen. And for herself, for once.

Lenalee settled herself a bit closer to Allen's form, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest that suggested he had finally given in to sleep before she finally raised her eyes to his face once more. "I'm sorry, Allen," she then whispered, knowing that he could not hear her, but needing to say the words all the same. She gently reached up to brush a bit of his hair, still a bit wet with sweat, away from his face. "I'm so sorry…for everything. I'm going to try harder – try to be like you."

With that, she settled against him comfortably, laying a hand on his warm chest and closing her eyes. "I love you."

_Fin~_


End file.
